Dr. Paul Chappell

The black horse spoken of in Revelation 6:5-6 forebodes death, and the pair of balances bespeaks a careful rationing of food. Normally, a “penny” (a Roman denarius, a day’s wages in Palestine in Jesus’ day, Mt. 20:2) would buy eight measures of wheat or twenty-four of barley. Under these famine conditions the same wage will buy only one measure of wheat or three of barley.

Source: Wilmington's Guide to the Bible, quoting Charles Ryrie

A man was bragging that he had cut off the tail of a man-eating lion with his pocket knife. When asked why he had not cut off the lion's head, the man replied: “Someone had already done that.”

Source: Unknown

At the height of World War II Dietrich Bonhoeffer was imprisoned for taking a stand against Hitler. Yet he continued to urge fellow believers to resist Nazi tyranny. A group of Christians, believing that Hitler was the Antichrist, asked Bonhoeffer, “Why do you expose yourself to all this danger? Jesus will return any day, and all your work and suffering will be for nothing.” Bonhoeffer replied, “If Jesus returns tomorrow, then tomorrow I’ll rest from my labor. But today I have work to do. I must continue the struggle until it’s finished.”

Adams Towing service got some pretty bad press in August 2009. One of their trucks was pictured in newspapers all across the country.  It was damaged and partially submerged in a backyard swimming pool with another vehicle in tow. Law enforcement officials outside of Buffalo, New York said the 25-year-old driver was texting on one cell phone while talking on another when the crash occurred. Nicholas Sparks hit a car, crashed through a residential fence, sideswiped a house, and then came to a stop when his tow-truck rolled into the pool.

A manager and a sales rep stood looking at a map on which colored pins indicated the company representative in each area. “I'm not going to fire you, Wilson,” the manager said, “but I'm loosening your pin a bit just to emphasize the insecurity of your situation.”—Bits and Pieces

During a training exercise in the field, a young recruit naively asked the commanding officer, “Sir, where is the fox hole?” The officer said, “You’re standing on it—just throw out the dirt.”

We don't worship what should be used, and we don't use what should be worshiped.

Source: Unknown

Dan serves his athletic body. He works out in a gym five days a week and has impeccable eating habits. He is attracted only to other beautiful body people. The problem is he keeps falling for shallow women who have no depth of spirit of character. He feels lonely and empty and eventually becomes bored and bitter. The false god of vanity fails him.

Source: Unknown

“Worship is an act that develops feelings for God, not a feeling for God that is expressed in an act of worship.”—Eugene Peterson

“Waiting for God is not laziness. Waiting for God is not going to sleep. Waiting for God is not the abandonment of effort. Waiting for God means, first, activity under command; second, readiness for any new command that may come; third, the ability to do nothing until the command is given.”—G. Campbell Morgan

Source: The Westminster Pulpit, G. Campbell Morgan

On a bar of Dial soap: DIRECTIONS—USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of the box): DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING

On a Korean kitchen knife: WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY

On a Japanese food processor: NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE

On Sainsbury's peanuts: WARNING—CONTAINS NUTS

Source: Unknown

In 1969, in Pass Christian, Mississippi, a group of people were preparing to have a “hurricane party” in the face of a storm named Camille. The wind was howling outside the posh Richelieu Apartments when Police Chief Jerry Peralta pulled up sometime after dark. A man with a drink in his hand came out to the second-floor balcony and waved. Peralta yelled up, “You all need to clear out of here as quickly as you can. The storm's getting worse.” But as others joined the man on the balcony, they just laughed at Peralta's order to leave.

Thomas Martin is the former manager of a Jack-in-the-Box restaurant in Oroville, California. He reported a robbery in which the crook took $307 as the store was closing. When questioned about the suspect, Martin provided police sketch artist Jack Lee with a detailed description of the assailant. After Lee completed his sketch, he observed how the drawing looked just like Martin. When investigators noted the similarity, Martin confessed to the crime.

Source: Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, December 28, 1996

One man was speaking about his finances. He said, “I am like a walking economy. My hairline is in recession, my waistline is going through inflation, and together they are pushing me to depression.”

Source: Unknown

While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign that read:

“Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust.”

Source: Unknown

“Form the habit of heeding His taps, and you will be less likely to receive His raps.”—A. W. Pink

“Remind yourself of how much dross there is yet among the gold and view the corruption of your own heart and marvel that God has not smitten you more severely.”—A. W. Pink

A University of Kansas course devoted to debunking creationism and intelligent design was canceled after the professor caused a furor by sending an e-mail mocking Christian fundamentalists.

Twenty-five students had enrolled in the course, “Special Topics in Religion: Intelligent Design, Creationism and Other Religious Mythologies,” which had been scheduled for the spring.

Professor Paul Mirecki, chairman of religious studies, canceled the class according to the university.

Sir Isaac Newton had a friend who was an atheist. The friend did not believe in God, but preferred to take the position that the universe just happened. One day the friend was visiting his learned colleague and Newton showed him a model of the solar system. The sun, the planets, and the moons were all in place. The sizes of the spheres were in proportion and the planets and the satellites revolved around the sun at their relative speeds. The friends admired the model. “It's intriguing,” he said, “who made it?”

“Nobody,” said Newton, “It just happened.”

George Bernard Shaw is perhaps most renowned as a free thinker and liberal philosopher. In his last writings we read, “The science to which I pinned my faith is bankrupt. Its counsels, which should have established the millennium, led, instead, directly to the suicide of Europe. I believed them once. In their name I helped to destroy the faith of millions of worshipers in the temples of a thousand creeds. And now they look at me and witness the great tragedy of an atheist who has lost his faith.” Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God.

A man went to a barber shop to have his hair and his beard cut as always. He started to have a good conversation with the barber who attended him. They talked about many things and various subjects. Suddenly, they began to talk about God.

The barber said: “Look man, I don't believe that God exists as you say.”

“Why do you say that?” asked the client.

A young lady came home from a date looking rather sad. She told her mother, “Arthur proposed to me an hour ago.”

“Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked.

“Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell.”

Her mother replied, “Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is.”

Source: Unknown