Newspaper columnist George Crane told the story of a wife who came into his office wanting to divorce her husband. She said, “I do not only want to get rid of him, I want to get even. Before I divorce him, I want to hurt him as much as he has me.”
Surprised to see an empty seat at the super bowl stadium, a diehard fan remarked about it to a man sitting nearby. “It was my wife’s,” the man explained, “But she died.” “Oh! I’m very sorry to hear that,” said the man. “Yet I’m really surprised that another relative, or friend, didn’t jump at the chance to take the seat reserved for her.” “Beats me,” he said. “They all insisted on going to the funeral.”
Submitted by Gabriel Ruhl
The story is told about an old farm couple who were driving along in their
pickup when the wife said, “We never sit all snuggled up in the truck like we
used to.” The husband looked at her and said, “I haven't moved.”
When we discover as a church or as individual believers that we aren't as close to God as we once were, understand this, He didn’t move, we did.
It was 1898 and Ben had left the East 8 years ago to head out West in hopes of making his fortune. Well he wasn't rich, but he had accumulated over 300 acres of good land and built a comfortable farm house on it. He raised wheat, corn, and all of his vegetables. He had managed to build his herd of cattle to over 200 head. Having accomplished all of this in only 8 years, he decided that it was now time.
The ad that he placed in the New York newspaper said, “Wanted: A good woman willing to be a pen pal. Marriage is a possibility for the right woman.”
A young lady came home from a date looking rather sad. She told her mother, “Arthur proposed to me an hour ago.”
“Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked.
“Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell.”
Her mother replied, “Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is.”
Adam’s wife was quite a talker and seldom stayed on the phone for less than an hour. One day he was surprised when he heard her hang up after just twenty-five minutes so he went into see if there was problem. When he expressed concern, Irene cheerfully explained, “Oh, no, everything is fine. I just dialed the wrong number.”
Source: Houston Chronicle
Debbie's family means everything to her. Her son and cute little daughter play sports, take music lessons, and attend a private school. Debbie spends every waking moment of every day caring for her kids. Often she goes through an entire day without having time for her husband which makes him fell neglected. If he feels neglected how does God feel? She lives through her children; they are like false gods in her life.
While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Tom and his wife, Grace, listened to the instructor: “It is essential that husbands and wives know each other’s likes and dislikes.” He addressed the men: “Can you name your wife’s favorite flower?” Tom leaned over, touched Grace’s arm gently, and whispered, “It’s Pillsbury, isn’t it?”
“Cash, check, or charge?” asked the salesclerk as the lady made her purchases. When she fumbled for her wallet, the clerk noticed a TV remote control in her purse. “So, do you always carry your TV remote around with you?” he asked. “No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could legally do to him.”