Cots can be made available for those who say Sunday is their only day to sleep.
Eye drops can be supplied for those who have red eyes from watching late Saturday night TV shows.
Steel helmets can be provided for those who say the roof would cave in if they ever went to church, blankets for people who think the church is too cold, fans for those who say it is too hot, scorecards for those wishing to list all the hypocrites present, TV dinners for those who can’t go to church and also cook dinner.
Finally, the sanctuary could be decorated with Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never seen the church without them.