Resources | Sermon Illustrations

Humor

Don’t Quit Reading the Bible

Mrs. Jones relaxed by reading her Bible each day. After observing this habit for several years, her 4-year-old daughter asked, “Aren’t you ever going to get finished reading that book?”

Source: 1001 Quotes, Illustrations, and...
Bible, Children, Humor, Mothers

Charge It

A mother took her young son shopping. After a day in the stores, a clerk handed the little boy a lollipop. “What do you say?” the mother said to the boy, to which he replied, “Charge it!”

Source: Unknown
Children, Humor, Money, Mothers

Praying Before Meals

A teacher asked a little boy, “Johnny, tell me frankly, do you say your prayers before you eat?”

Johnny replied, “I don't have to, my mom is a good cook!”

Source: Unknown
Children, Humor, Mothers, Prayer

He Acted Like He Was Listening

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. “Oh, well never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship,” the husband explained. “She was a communications major in college...

Communication, Humor, Marriage

She Talked As Long As Someone Would Listen

Christine Chapman was supposed to bring her mother-in-law to the doctor, but she could not get her to stop talking to the neighbor. Finally, Christine escorted her away from the conversation so they wouldn’t be late. Once inside the car, her...

Communication, Humor, Women

Ads That Should Have Been Proofread

Dinner Special: Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

For Rent: 6-room hated...

Communication, Humor

Mark Me Absent

Two sisters were playing together when eight-year-old Martha insisted that they play school. Five-year-old Jenny wasn’t the least bit interested in thinking about school, but the older sister wouldn’t take “No” for an answer. Finally, little...

Children, Church, Humor

The Value of Punctuation

A woman who traveled abroad without her husband got to Paris and found a fabulous bracelet she’d been looking for. So she sent a wire back home saying, “I have found this beautiful bracelet, one I’ve been looking for all my life. It only costs $7...

Communication, Humor, Money

The Dog Is on the Roof

Tact is one of the lost arts of the twentieth century. I heard about a man who lacked tact. He was the type of person who just couldn’t say anything graciously. He and his wife owned a poodle. They loved this dog. It was the object of their...

Communication, Humor

Don’t Be Like an Easter Egg

Some folks are like Easter eggs—ornamented on the outside and hard-boiled on the inside!

Source: Unknown
Easter, Humor, Perspective
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