Bold to Ask

When our youngest child, Julia, had mastered the age of four, she was eagerly anticipating her fifth birthday. She had seen enough fifth birthdays to know it was something to look forward to. In some mysterious way, she had come to believe that 5-year-olds are BIG KIDS.

In the run-up to her big day, she would ask me each morning “Mommy, how many days ’til my birthday?” To which I would respond with the appropriate number. Most of the fun of this birthday was the talking, planning, and anticipation of it, and we did all of these in abundance.

Like any other mom, I think I know my children very well. However, as they get older, we spend less and less time together. That’s as it should be, but it means there may be events in their lives of which I am not aware.

For anyone who knows our little princess Julia, they know that she has never met a stranger. She loves people and talks to anyone and everyone. I have often praised the Lord for this trait, as it opens many doors to talk about Him. It also means I have to keep a very close eye on her when we are anywhere besides church. Even there her outgoing personality takes her to unexpected (for me) places as I soon discovered on her 5th birthday.

Finally, the big day dawned: April 24! Because Julia attended K-4, I took cupcakes and balloons to school to celebrate. When it was all over, Julia carried a very large teddy bear to the car. I began to ask her about her day, and I also inquired about the bear.

“Julia, that is such a nice, big bear. Who gave him to you?”

“Mr. Thal. He told me happy birthday.”

“Wow! That was so nice. We’ll have to thank him!”

“I already did, Mommy.”

Here, I must confess to being distracted by daily living and not investigating more thoroughly. As much as we love Mr. Thal, who works on our church staff and in our academy, he is not related to us. So how would he know it was Julia’s birthday? Beyond that, how would he know what to give her? Many other questions probably should have been asked.

Several days passed before I ran into Mr. Thal at school and thanked him for my daughter’s gift.

“Julia loves the teddy bear! She sleeps with him. But, how did you know it was her birthday?”

“Oh, she told me. She came into my office, told me her birthday was coming, and when I asked her what she wanted she spread her arms and said, ‘A teddy bear this big!’”

To say that I was mortified would be an understatement. It had been a very long time since I felt so embarrassed. What to say? A lame “Oh” was all I could manage.

Mr. Thal got a laugh out of the whole thing, and he was happy to be gracious and kind to a little girl. Once I worked past my humiliation, the episode taught me a big lesson.

I have such vast resources at my disposal and yet so often I do without, just “getting by.” My heavenly Father wants me to do better. I am His child, He loves me, and if I would just ask Him, I feel confident there is so much more He would do for me. I sometimes feel my requests aren’t significant enough, or that somehow I am selfish if I ask for things for myself. But, being a parent, I should know better!! I love doing things for my children. I want them to be happy, and to have what they need. How could my Heavenly Father do any less for His children? For me? Hebrews 4:16 comes to mind: “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

During my moments with the Lord, when I lack boldness, the image of Julia with her little arms spread encourages me. I am learning to ask. My Father wants me to acknowledge my need, abandon my self-consciousness, and just ask Him for what I need. He is God. He can handle it.